The Need for Uncertainty or Variety

Variety, the spice of life! Have you ever wondered how a seemingly happy couple ended things after just a few months? Or a job that seemed to be a "Dream come true" after time became dull? Have you ever felt bored at work in a relationship or tired of the same old thing?! Me too. That is because we both have a need inside for uncertainty. Believe it or not we can have this need met in a healthy or unhealthy way.

Being spontaneous, trying a new restaurant or traveling to a new destination are all healthy ways to experience the need for variety. A person who drinks a little too much, tries a new drug or gets into random arguments is getting this need met in an unhealthy way.

This can manifest in our career by attending seminars, training events, or challenging our growth by meeting new people and networking. Even driving to work a different way can add variety to your daily routine.

In relationships you can help meet this need by planning a surprise get away, gift, or even have a different type of date night like going to the dollar store and picking out one thing the other person must wear the rest of the night, or go on a scavenger hunt.

Be creative! There are many ways to get this need met in a healthy way. You will be surprised at how refreshing it can be to ensure this is met.

If you want to brainstorm on how to help improve your relationships or life in this way, please schedule a complimentary free meet and greet meeting with me found on my contact page. I would love to help you live your best life!

The Need of Certainty

Humans need certainty! Certainty: something that cannot be doubted. A truth, a feeling, or a belief. Since I've been following Tony Robbins, I've had the opportunity to learn more about each human need and how we meet them in a healthy or unhealthy way.

We all have the need for certainty for some people this is the most important need. If you find yourself having a routine structure for each day and something changes that routine what's your reaction? If your reaction is anger, frustration or something negative your need for certainty is probably the most important need you have. Our reaction to situations gives us clues as to what's most important to us. When your needs are so important you start having anger or resentment towards someone it's time to reevaluate how to meet your needs in a healthy way.

People will do horrific criminal acts to have their needs met. Risking getting sent to jail, loosing loved ones or the risk of public shame. You might ask yourself "how could anyone do ___?" the answer is they weren't getting their needs met. Why do addicts continue to use? They are certain they know what will happen when they do. Why does an athlete get up at 5 AM starting their long day early? They are certain of the benefits.

At work this manifest in different ways; having a set schedule, a monthly meeting, process that don't change. Things you can be certain of that you have learned to depend on.

In relationships this can manifest in who does certain chores, following through with your word, a set schedule like having a family fun night every Friday or certain holiday traditions we look forward to.

You can create healthy ways of getting your need for certainty met by creating a morning routine within your control. Fitness, journaling, reading a book, what is something within yourself - without being dependent on someone - you can be certain of?

Stay tuned as I talk about all 6 human needs in future posts.

Salute to 2020

The year that caused businesses, cities, and families to derail. Our hearts have been sized by news feeds where people have experienced heartache, loss, and trauma like none has seen before. My heart is heavy for those who have lost everything. If you are like me, you try to see the positive in everything. Everything happens for a reason, right? Can there be anything good out of this rubble? Yes, there can. When we take a step back and look at the 50,000-view level.

What 2020 gave us.

#1 Resourcefulness; This year changed what "Working from Home" means. Creative parents and business owners had some of their most profitable year. A few days ago, I spoke with such a man who made $300,000 this year and is set up to 10x his income in 2021. He learned to become an expert in his field of photography and took people staying home as an opportunity to meet their needs. I have countless other friends who started network marketing businesses or a "side gig". For the first time ever having two or more streams of income became the edge that preserved many homes by providing food on the table.

#2 An appreciation that tomorrow is not guaranteed; I witnessed firsthand where my community came together to support each other. If one family had a need for diapers or services others pitched in. Strangers helping strangers becoming family. For me, each moment I spent with family was that much more special because of the uncertainty of tomorrow. I have gained a healthy respect for savoring each moment and memory.

#3 Time; It caused us all to pause. Staying home, minimizing travel, time spent in public.

Parents were able to get time with their children. Schools, sports, and extracurricular activities were at a standstill. Forcing many to spend time with each other, bonds were created that would not have been before. I saw kids playing in the street all the time getting fresh air.

#4 An appreciation for a good haircut. Need I say more?

My hope is you can come up with a list of your own to salute 2020 and welcome 2021 with open arms. Out of everything 2020 has taught me, learning that I can face such opposition and stay smiling. I know I can face anything.